Heart of the Card
by FrozenLotusOTP
Summary: Sinon agrees to help the Joker in his quest to spread chaos, but what happens when her unique skills work against her? Contains Kirinon and its fair share of tail pulling :3 (Just a short one-shot based off of the SAO mobile game Memory Defrag, particularly the recent Poker Battle Event.)


**Heart of the Card**

 _{Song to listen to while reading: **Mickey Valen - Wildcard (feat. Feli Ferraro)}** _

The cloaked figure of the Joker raised a tea cup in greeting as his new ward approached him, albeit with lingering apprehension. Sinon had been one of the lucky few to encounter him while wandering the 3D maze, and given that the other two had ascended to the status of royalty, it was only fitting that he offer tutelage to the remaining fairy. After all, what was a court without jester? But more important than whimsical fun was the real purpose he lived by.

To cause Chaos and make every subject feel as though the deck is stacked against them. Only when desperate would people explore the more interesting paths in life. Unfortunately for the mysterious clown, the increase in Order after the previous royalty couple had passed on much of their power along with their titles to the victorious fairies he had aided-things wouldn't be that easy. Especially given that his arch rival-Jack the Tricker had mustered his own strength to wage war against the kingdom. That fowl viridian demon of a card was the one that gave him such a bad name. What point was there in tricking others if the punchline was their destruction? Didn't he realize how much fun it was to watch the subjects struggle against the illusions that filled their world? The hopes dashed, and the misery relieved in a never ending random cycle at the Joker's whim. They couldn't feel a thing if they were dead.

And so, the Joker had to deal with-or at least suppress to a single corner of the maze as he was a trickster not a fighter- the troublesome Jack. At least until either he found a way to turn the tables on the stronger opponent-or better yet his lovely new assistant dealt with the foe for him. But of course, the clown knew his power would wain over time should he devote too much time to Jack rather than his true goal of trickery. And if Jack destroyed too much of the hedge maze, a change in the _Royal Suite_ would happen leaving him at the top of the deck while the rest were _discarded_ to the dungeon forever.

Thus, he needed a hand-preferably one with a _trump_ beyond Jack's wildest card dreams. For the sake of Kingdom, the Fool needed a champion to ensure chaotic fun persevered. That the odds remained forever out of any one player's favor. The jester needed a partner to gamble the stakes of their world before they all _folded_ …

* * *

 **-Sinon POV-**

Or at least that was what he had explained to Sinon during their last tea party when he made the offer. Give or take a few more card game puns thrown in somewhere. The rare NPC's backstory was…interesting to be sure, though that wasn't the reason she had accepted. More than anything, the archer empathized with the lack of strength against an enemy that seemed impossible to defeat. It wasn't merely the card that the Joker was fighting against, but the ideal of cruelest trickery and inevitable death and destruction he represented.

Helping the jester conquer his demon felt like the right thing to do, especially if the rest of the Maze really was at stake. That he sweetened the deal with a unique set of gear along with a temporary special _Wild Card_ skill tree for her to make use of when on the quest was a nice bonus. If they were successful, one such skill would remain persistent beyond the card kingdom as well. Though which skill that remained was suitably random, even the rewards were a gamble it seemed.

Of course, all that power was not without cost. The greatest weakness of her new kit was the mandated anonymity it required. As Sinon was merely playing the part of the Joker, the physical embodiment of his ideals, no one was supposed to associate her identity to the card class. To that end, the bluette had been granted his spare cloak, which concealed her name and cursor along with any defining features. To the eyes of other players, she would appear as nothing more than a stray generic NPC. Even those close would be unable to pierce that vale of illusion unless they were a skilled spriggan. Though for whatever reason, her voice would remain unchanged-perhaps a feeble way to balance the cloak. Should she get discovered by more than one trusted friend to keep her secret, the quest and all its gifts would be automatically forfeit.

Fortunately for the new Joker, she operated under special rules that would not turn her actual player cursor orange if she attacked other players-so long as it was not with the intention to kill them and the shots were fired towards property not people. So if push came to shove, she could ward players off with arrows as she rendered confusion and strife upon the masses.

"I heard you already made a friend young apprentice, how popular you must be…" The jester greeted as a sly chuckle escaped his lips. Sinon suppressed an irritated sigh at the comment, which felt more like a chastise if anything. She had not anticipated Yuuki blessed by the ace of Spades-which granted her a substantial speed boost for a short time-to catch her so soon. A petty part of her was still angered by Asuna only granting an ace to Yuuki, when both Kirito and herself had explicitly asked for aces themselves. Though perhaps it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the 'Queen of Hearts' doted on the girl she considered to be a sister. Those two did always seem closer then meets the eye… but that was none of the sniper's business regardless. It didn't change the fact that she so _**conveniently**_ forgot about their direct requests. Perhaps that admittedly juvenile spark of annoyance was another reason she had taken the job to cause havoc in Asuna's new kingdom. It wasn't so much the loss in power that bothered Shino, but the principle of the denial even if there were worse cards she could have been given. Was she really only an afterthought to the girl she considered a good friend? Maybe she was reading too much into the act, but the voice of doubt in the back of her head gave her pause.

' _And what does that say about me if I am willing to play the part of a saboteur to get back at her?'_

Thus far her track record as a vandal was far from impressive however. She hadn't even had the new role for an hour before she had been caught-a harsh lesson of what she was up against if nothing else. At least one of the greatest threats regarding her identity was now at least neutral if not on her side. Most of the player base seemed fixated on the idea she was an assassin after the king-which happened to be Kirito because of course that _idiot_ would be in the thick of things intentionally or not- and his throne. Sinon had to laugh at that notion.

' _A throne? What would I need that fleeting position of power for anyway? This kingdom will only exist for a month or so anyway. As for Kirito…'_

A distinct red hue colored her cheeks as she thought of the boy, though she refused to acknowledge the warmth on her face…or within her heart. Now was not the time to get distracted, not after the close call she had today.

"What is it young ward, is the tea not to your liking?"

Sinon shook her head curtly before bowing slightly. It was time she made the most of their tea parties-even if that meant admitting she needed more help. "Forgive me Joker-sama I… am still new to our game. If you have time before your hourly battle with Jack, could you give me a few pointers? Like you said before, knowing the rules is only the first step to playing around them unexpectedly. I never even played poker before this event-before I came to the maze."

The veteran Joker nodded sagely, clearly pleased that his lesson had stuck with the pupil. "I cannot little jester. Each player has their own hand, holding it prevents them from playing the game how it is meant to be-their own unique way. That is part of what makes this game one of chance-even with the set rules and same cards one player might choose differently from the next. Even my methods can be countered with the right card-and good fortune."

Tugging at the frilly choker around her neck, the girl took in his semi-expected wisdom. She knew things wouldn't be that easy, but clearly the hidden quest had to have some failsafe for players like herself who knew next to nothing about card games, let alone being able to go against almost everyone else in the maze if cornered. A dejected sigh slipped from her mouth as she pondered what to do, though eventually the AI took pity on the fairy.

"If you do need some guidance however, I suppose I can leave you a select few of my own cards, just so you can get a taste of what can be accomplished when your own skill increases…"

The apprentice nodded quickly, and before she could speak a word of gratitude, a card from each suit suddenly appeared in her inventory. Glancing away from the menu to give proper thanks to her mentor, she found the chair opposite to hers empty. As she moved to leave however, his voice would echo inside her head in warning.

"Take care however, the wild deck works differently than the rest, though some similarities remain in principle. Now get out there and cause trouble little cat. Nine lives are more than enough time to learn how to have fun! In all sorts of ways..."

The ominous tone and phrasing made the girl forget to even snap back at him about the feline comment, lost as she was in wondering what new wager with the devil she had just struck-and at what cost…

* * *

Exploring the limits of her new powers was never more enjoyable to the disciple of chaos as she wandered the hedge maze in search of another target. As her instructor had warned, the select joker-ized cards were different from the typical passives granted by the playing cards. But after a bit of testing, Sinon had concluded that while her new consumables were debatably only useful in selective circumstances, the utility far surpassed that of the typical cards-even the aces. Each card was truly unique, and the archer couldn't decide which she favored the most.

In example, rather than a speed buff the joker of spades projected an aura around her that slowed anything-monster or fairy- to a crawl. When she had been cornered earlier that afternoon, only Yuuki had been able to move at a pace considered normal and she had honored her word to remain neutral for now. The rest of the mob of players were so shocked by perceived impossibility that was severe lag in ALO, they hadn't even tried to follow her as she made her escape. The memory of frequent cries of "Dude this is bull!?" still made her smile.

The joker of diamonds possessed one of the most surreal abilities. Instead of giving her a defensive buff, a random target would be selected mid fight and she would swap defense stats and any innate resistances with her victim for roughly thirty seconds. While this was a severe risk against anything with adds or normal farming, the surge of power she had received when soloing a field boss and gaining all of the demonic white rabbit's traits was an addictive rush. Felling the monster with a single normal arrow as the beast struggled to comprehend the newfound weakness and what amounted to a pitiful pool of health despite the vast quantity was strangely satisfying. Perhaps that is why such bosses enraged when brought low, out of anger that something so comparatively weak could overpower them?

The cait sith similarly had no reason to temporarily increase her attack power when with a snap of her fingers, the joker of clubs summoned five Card Soldiers to off the heads of her enemies. Their power levels were randomized obviously, but even a Two of Hearts could serve as a distraction for agro as she slipped away. And again, she wasn't supposed to be picking fights in the first place, merely ensure things stayed…interesting.

The joker of hearts was the only card that remained a mystery thus far. If she had to guess, the now adept junior jester would say it swapped the health pool of herself in a target? A base HP increase was what the _normal_ heart cards granted after all, and each of the other cards seemed to work around an inverse idea of the original. After finding a secluded area, Sinon decided to test out the final card to gauge it's uses against an average monster she could easily kill no matter the sheer health difference. Unfortunately for the eager girl who had let her guard down while running on the miniature power high, she wasn't doing it solo…

"Sinon, what are you doing out here alone?"

The cloaked figure froze at that all too familiar voice calling out to her. Panic momentarily gripped Sinon's heart as the one selectively perceptive boy she hadn't wanted to come across neared. She didn't understand how he had tracked her down however, much less realized who she really was. While those of the spriggan race could see through the cloak if their illusion skill was maxed-something that likely only the leader of the race cared to do- her intruder was far from such a master of arcane art. Chalking up the meeting to be ill chance-and perhaps karma- she pondered the more important question further.

' _There is no way Kirito can see through my disguise normally. Which can only mean that he somehow figured it out normally without any magical help. I don't know if I should be impressed by that deduction considering how thick he is, or ashamed for that same reason.'_

"Kirito I-"

A sudden realization made her pause. _'I still have the joker quest even with both Yuuki and Kirito knowing who I am. Why hasn't it failed-is the Joker letting me get a free pass given the chance of this meeting? No that NPC lives on chance and chaos, he wouldn't let the quest be so controlled. So why…maybe I need to take the baka to him.'_

"I-I was looking for you actually. You see I need a favor."

The regal garbed teen raised an eyebrow in confusion at the statement, though he seemed to relax as the figure dismissed the cloak and revealed her true form. Similarly, Sinon would tense as she noted the way Kirito's eyes flickered down her form, taking in the unusual outfit she was wearing. A slight blush colored her cheeks as she inwardly cursed her master of a card for convincing her that the suggestive piece was necessary to play her part. The white and gold trim matching the choker around her neck did nothing to hide the fact she wearing what amounted to skin tight short shorts-though the girl could barely even consider them as such. And the complex card motif around her bust drew far too much attention to her cleavage.

In contrast Kirito's royal back and white robes consisted of a far more respectable waist coat with gold trim around a spade design. His checkered white fur cape seemed out of place dragging behind him looked out of place however, and the miniature crown atop his head looked ridiculous. Sinon decided she would use it for target practice later…

"Sure Sinon, what do you need-help causing a bit of mischief? I can royally degree the card guards to change their patrol patterns if you need to get into a specific area. Or we could fake a hostage situation with me to start a real panic for a while? Maybe even-"

The palm of her free hand smacked into her forehead as Sinon felt a migraine on the horizon. _'I shouldn't have worried after all. He WOULD be on board with causing chaos in his own kingdom to spice things up, wouldn't he? Maybe that willingness to let this all happen is why I haven't failed the quest then. Still I had better get him to come with me and check with the master just in case-maybe with two unofficial jokers running around he will be strong enough to beat Jack next time?'_

"S-stop getting ahead of yourself. Before we do anything, I need you to have tea with me in private and ah-"

It was foolish, utterly stupid to get so flustered over the idea she had just inadvertently asked him out to a date of sorts-even if it was mostly to keep an eye on him so he wouldn't go telling anyone else the secret. The slight warmth to her cheeks told a different story however. _'Why am I acting like this, it's not like we haven't had tea together before now. What makes it so difficult now just because I am the one asking him? It shouldn't be a big deal-so why am I feeling so…strange? The idea of being alone with him is making me feel so warm...'_

As her giddiness and peculiar heat within rose her body, she noticed too late the way the joker of hearts disappeared from her inventory, the effect subtly triggered. Her head spun as the heat spiked within, her breath caught as she registered what that card did. Rather than health pools or even the endurance stat in general, that wild card increased a different aspect of the heart to an extreme.

 _ **Emotion**_. Desire she held within her heart yet mostly concealed given her more reclusive nature and wish to not cause issues between her group of friends. She knew without a doubt she cared deeply for the boy across from her, after all they had been through together it was only natural that she would feel close. But Shino wasn't sure if she was ready to explore that side of her still melting heart just yet, especially when she wasn't sure how the boy in question felt in return.

As the world drifted out of focus with her heart thinking for her, the girl's mind wondered what possible use this card had in combat. Or perhaps it wasn't meant for that purpose-after all why should the young joker be excused from the chaos she brought to others one way or another?

A coy giggle escaped the addled the cait sith's lips as she stalked towards her prey like a house cat would a mouse. Her eyes fluttered half closed as she took a step forward, the haze within her mind like a thick fog clouding her consciousness.

"On second thought, we can skip the drinks Kirito-kun. I have seen the way you look at me when you think I'm too focused on lining up shots to notice when we party. And I know your eyes wandered to my ass more than once-before and after I got the tail." Though the comment about her own tail was deadpanned, she nevertheless emphasized that very feature as she willed it to swish back and forth in a beckoning manner. As she encouraged the king to come hither, she sent the boy sputtering in flustered disbelief with her next comment.

"I'm tired of playing along to the tune you use on the rest of the girls. Maybe if you actually experienced what fantasies you inspire in all of us, you would understand how you drive us all crazy. It's not fair to tease us like that. Which is why today I've decided to let go and show you how you really make me feel. And how I can make _**you feel**_ …" A cheshire grin curled her lips as she purred the blatant offer of what she craved.

* * *

- **Kirito POV-**

As the sniper turned jester neared Kirito, every step she took seemed to make his heart beat that much faster. The confusion of the situation, whatever seemed to have caused the bizarre personality shift within the usually cool-headed girl was leaving him with mixed emotions. The Sinon he knew and cared for was never this…open with what she desired-or at least seemed to want at the moment. His eyes scanned down her form, hoping to find a tell in her body language to reveal what her words would not-but it seemed to have the opposite effect.

"And where are your eyes wondering now, Kirito-kun? My eyes are up here, and we aren't playing _**that**_ kind of poker. Or is that the kind of game _his majesty_ is really interested in?"

The flustered spriggan could only mouth wordlessly at the implication, a fire warming his cheeks at the thought. _'N-no, there has to be something wrong here, whatever this is-it's not her. But what could be influencing both her speech and actions like this-and why? Wait a second, what did she call me-'_

A distinct noise shattered his line of thought, a rumbling not unlike an actual feline would make had begun to escape the archer's throat. At first the swordsman believed it to be his ears playing tricks on him-but no, as his companion finally closed the remaining distance between them, he could feel the purr vibrate throughout her body as they embraced. Pinned as he was against the now dull mirror edge of the glass portal, Kirito knew his options were limited. He didn't want to actually harm his friend of course, though he was afraid that there would be few alternatives to awakening the girl from…whatever this was.

"Play with me Kirito, the Queen doesn't have to know about the odd _deck shuffle_ here and there does she? Considering how you decided to follow me despite the greater personal risk to yourself, I thought we both knew what cards to play next…" A slim hand caressed the side of his face, all but two fingers concealed within a red or black glove. Somehow only being able to feel the direct warmth of two digits made the touch feel that much more pronounced. The cait sith tilted her head to the side with a cheshire grin, playful mirth sparkling within her sapphire eyes…Along with something else that shouldn't be there. Overshadowing her iris was the image of a joker card centered between the red lines around the eye. Due to their close proximity, the king of poker was able to make out the variation from typical cards. Rather than merely a laughing jester motif, the center of the laughing outline was hollowed out into the shape of a heart.

Despite whatever had seemingly hijacked his friend's mind, a distinct blush colored her cheeks. He wasn't sure if it was a relief or not that at least some of his friend was still in there somewhere-knowing Shino it wasn't likely that she would want to remember an embarrassing event like this _. 'That's right…'_ the teen reminded himself even as his hormones _oh so hopefully_ raged at the feeling of the bluette nuzzling against him fully while purring like a cat-a situation he _**might**_ have fantasized before in his moments of weakness when dreaming. It wasn't like he was blind to the appeal of his female friends after all.

' _I…I know Sinon, and I know this isn't her even without that card effect in her eye or the out of place card terms. It wouldn't be right to take advantage of this situation to-no, not without knowing what_ _ **she**_ _really wants! But how do I get through to her?'_

Unconsciously his hands had wandered during the split second he racked his brain for a feasible strategy, his right resting atop her left hip after wrapping around her waist to further the embrace and support her lithe weight against him. Meanwhile his traitorous left had drifted upward to scratch behind the archer's ear. Even his conflicted state of mind couldn't deny that the pleased face she made in response to the teasing touch was adorable. The way her head reflexively tilted against his fingers in not so silent encouragement as he rubbed back and forth, chin jutted outwards in open invitation to be his next target with a pleading mew. Her left eye had closed at this point, unable to take the influx of pleasurable touch while looking at him.

 **-Alt Path Time Split-**

It took all of his willpower to will his hand away from the lightly furred flesh, though even then rather than moving away from the girl it racked down her scalp before drifting lower to the back of her neck and exposed upper back. The swirl of shocked surprise and fulfilled desire culminated into a wordless sound from the jester, an audible meow escaping her lips though it was doubtlessly a plea for _**more**_. Each rapid breath she took tickled Kirito's ear as she rested the side of her head onto his shoulder, the tempo rising and falling with each movement of his hand. It seemed the scratch had momentarily stunned the girl out of the dominant persona that had taken root, but that wouldn't be enough. Just as Kirito had begun to consider pressing the advantage and pull back, 'Sinon' found her voice.

"Don't… don't you dare stop now Kir-rito-kun! You don't get to-to fold on me now. Play your ha-hand or I'll… I'll make sure you'll never be able to _**up your ante**_ _again_!" It was becoming increasingly apparent that the sniper herself seemed confused by what she was saying despite the lust and unknown influence influencing her mind. That in of itself tugged a memory he held of another encounter -though far less intimate than this one- he had shared with Sinon and mind affecting food, though that duality of voice hadn't influenced her actions as well.

A shiver traveled down the king's back at her threat, instinctual urge to protect _the most royal of jewels_ causing him to comply to the demand without comment. Adrenaline rushed through his veins as his hand slipped lower, tracing down the ridge of each virtual vertebrae as she arched against him. What neither could deny to be a moan was heard thereafter. Though whether it came from one flustered teen or the other was up for debate. Perhaps both in all likelihood. As with most any male, the black-haired boy was acutely aware of the soft mounds pressed so firmly against his side, not to mention the feeling of exploring down the slope of his companion's back. It was only a natural reaction to what was happening… Only the archer's words amid whimpers as his palm reached her rear caused Kirito to awaken from his hormonal haze.

"Kirito…please I can't take it anymore _. I-_ _ **I love**_ _ **you**_ -"

His heart beat against his chest like a sledgehammer, it was a wonder the amusphere had not triggered the emergency safety ejection at this point. Perhaps the cause of that phenomenon was the same that allowed such intimate encounters with all of his close female companions without the Harassment Code triggering long before things had escalated to this point. He was certain that repeated offenses, such as what this _should have been_ to either of them, would have validated a reserved cell for him in solitary confinement. Even if the girls hadn't acknowledged the touch as unwanted or offensive. It was as if Fate itself would not allow him to end it prematurely. Not before the potential for his suffering was maximized anyway.

But regardless of his debatable 'good fortune' in avoiding a one-way ticket to jail, the sniper's words had been the trigger needed to cause Kirito's mind to reset. His heart ached at the words for more than one reason he wasn't prepared to explore at this point. But more so than the whispered words themselves, the genuine feeling conveyed by the confession stood out the most. They were not induced by the intoxicating pseudo-haze of lustful domination that controlled his partner, nor were they an increasingly suspicious card pun-the nature of Shino's controlled mind was obvious now- but the unadulterated desires of Asada Shino's heart.

No whimsical trickster had uttered that, it was the shy girl filled with a cool determination and unmatched inner strength apparent to all but herself. Not a wanton joker dressed in black and red, but a teen haunted by demons with faces of muzzle flashes and blood splatters. Foes beyond the reach of his swords, no matter how many blades he wielded at once. But right now, she didn't need his weapons-Sinon required the strength to wake up from another mental trap and realize who she was again. And that she had plenty friends to help shoulder that burden. Just as he had done when the traumatic horror of her past had been revealed by a meddling third party, Kirito resolved to support her unconditionally. While he would have preferred to support the girl at her own pace, it was clear a bit of direct intervention was in order…

The king's hand drifted downward, eyes never leaving the out of focus counterpart of his companion as he neared his intended target swishing below. He likely only had single shot at this, but knowing the girl in his arms that would be the only one he needed to take. Otherwise lust addled or no, his prospects of survival against an angry kitty were not great. Allowing his heart to fill with warmth often felt when they are alone, Kirito found the resolve needed to make his move. The joker's apprentice noticed the newfound motivation with concern. But by then he was ready and willing to do what needed to be done-along with offering his own confession in return.

"K-Kirito, what are you-"

"Sinon I love y-"

Whatever he said would be lost to Cait Sith as his hand closed around her overly sensitive tail swishing back and forth and without warning yanked upward. The blend of pain and pleasure was too much for the _'mental status effect'_ as Kirito had labeled it, to keep up with and it was promptly cured. To the abused cait sith, the stimulation was akin to… well what she imagined it would feel like for a certain something to penetrate her rear. Needless to say, she was not prepared for the _alien sensation_. That Kirito was the one to do it made it better in a way she cared not to think about, but also that much **worse**.

As Sinon yowled in shock, the joker card vanished from her iris as it widened to take in what was happening as swiftly as possible. Kirito allowed himself a bittersweet smile as this happened, knowing full well that there would be hell to pay. But he would gladly grab her tail countless more- _that is to say_ **endure her punishment** -a thousand times over if it meant the return of his dear friend.

Kirito anticipated she would be cross with him, initially at least. He had not expected her to disappear before his eyes with a flash of a spinning gray joker card designed after Sinon's own silhouette. Just as he opened his mouth to question the sight, a voice behind him gave all the answers he would have asked for and then some.

"Kirito, I _warned you_ before didn't I? The next time you pulled my tail like that, I was going to stick a fire arrow up your nostril." The cool as ice voice belied the inferno of rage and indignation the bow user felt, though the cornered king could only feel relief at the threat. If nothing else, at least things were back to normal between them. Faster than even his honed yet frazzled reflexes could hope to react in time, the sound of a drawstring pulled back resounded into his ear. The boy didn't need eyes in the back of his head to know where that arrow was pointed, even if it would have to pierce through the back of his head to reach his nose proper.

"S-Sinon wait I can explain! I had to wake you up from whatever was controlling you and-"

"And so you just **HAD** to use the one method that would violate my personal comfort the most? I-idiot did you even _**TRY**_ to wake me up with a pinch or tap or literally anything else? H-how stupid can you be…or maybe that was the problem."

"S-Sinon I would never-"

"I know the weird things that I said and did-almost did with you. It's only logical to assume that you weren't thinking with your usual thick head. So the alternative head took control and-"

Gritting his teeth, Kirito whipped around to face his aggressor, not even blinking as the head of the fire arrow hovered not even an inch from his nose. Ignoring the deadly warmth that radiated from the still projectile, as if he was gazing into a fireplace of hell itself, he spoke out in his defense.

"Sinon stop for a minute and listen to me before I get turned into your next pin cushion! Y-you know I would never take advantage of anyone like that, especially not you and what all you have been through. Besides even if I was going to do something as unforgiveable as that-why would I have broken that spell that made you so…willing? The choice was easy."

The joker's assistant glare laxed at the words, as if hearing them alone drained the hostility overwhelming her judgement. Well most of it anyway…

"A-and just what do you mean by _**easy**_?! Are you saying that e-even like THAT, I wasn't attractive enough to tempt you?" The cait sith's cheeks turned as crimson as her garments at the question, as if unbelieving that she had voiced it-though nevertheless her ears perked for his response. Swallowing audibly, Kirito answered as best he could with his honest opinion.

"It wasn't hard to decide because I don't want just some-some horny cat girl in a jester costume. That's not what makes you attractive! N-not to me anyway. What makes you appealing is your focus and drive to see things though, no matter how difficult it is. Your _perseverance-strength_ , as a person in the virtual world, the real world, and everything augmented in between is what is so beautiful about you _Shino_. Yes, your body really is c-cute too, but there is _so much more_ to your appeal than that. Despite your past, you're brave enough to use the very thing you once feared in another game, right? And you have moves and skills I could never attempt to try. I know I can always rely on you to have my back-and you're the only one out of _everyone_ that really understands the pain of taking another life, even for the right reasons. I-I feel like we have a unique connection. So…"

He trailed off as his adrenaline rush faded and he realized just **what** he had been saying. Innate shyness rendering the poor boy mute, he closed his eyes and waited his final fiery judgement.

"I don't know what is more infuriating, the fact that you always cause these _situations_ with me when we are alone…" The edge in her voice soften as she lowered her bow with a rueful sigh, the arrow winking out of existence as she did so. "… Or how I can never stay mad at you afterwards, no matter what happens-a-almost happens between us." Dismissing her bow into the confines of her inventory, Sinon folded her arms and glanced away as she mused further.

"Honestly how do you come up with those words that are so-so…You?"

The nervous gamer not trusting his mouth to push his luck, merely sweat dropped with a nervous chuckle of semi-oblivious good nature. What he had said-and felt for the girl was far more than idol chatter and a way to escape flaming death after all. Whether those feelings could be acted upon with the REAL Sinon remained to be seen. For now, he just breathed a sigh of relief that he survived that encounter.

"Never mind, I should know better than to ask questions a fool like you wouldn't know how to answer if you had one. Come along then, we are late as it is for tea with Joker-sama…"

"Wait you…you were serious about wanting to have tea?"

The gamer could barely detect a sigh from his partner before she explained her reasoning.

"Of course, I haven't failed the quest yet, but only one person is supposed to know about me being the joker-and you make the second. So we need to figure out what is going on. Besides all of a sudden I am feeling really thirsty… N-not like that baka!" She amended in afterthought as Kirito blushed at the word choice briefly.

Kirito blinked in confusion as his now sane companion moved to one of the glass window cards that decorated various points of the maze and braced her palm against its center. Clearing her throat, the now serious joker whispered the command phrase she had been taught to access the network of portals around the 3D maze available as short cuts. "Trump Card, Tea Time." The first part of the phrase activated the portal while the second connected her to the correct location. In this case, she was returning to the private garden located at the center of the hedge labyrinth where her master preferred to meet.

With a flash of muted red light, the depicted King of Hearts transformed into a laughing jester beckoning them further inward.

"You don't think Joker-sama and I get around the maze by wandering it like everyone else, do you?"

Kirito merely chuckled at her sly quip, following after her as she led the way to what was sure to be yet another exciting adventure. Though not before taking hold of the soft tail that tauntingly swished back and forth before him. As Sinon's cool was lost once more, the boy couldn't help but muse internally on how it was far more satisfying to gently pet along the fluffy appendage rather than just yanking it outright.

" _ **K-Kirito**_!"

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Thank you for checking out my first attempt at writing an SAO fic-even if this is only a one shot. I am admittedly rather rusty once more in writing actual fan fiction again as opposed to things like roleplay on Tumblr (it has made me lazy only having to do half the work DX), but I am determined to get the hang of things again.

For those curious, this is based off the Sword Art Online Memory Defrag game, specifically the recent Poker Battle event and theme. If you need help visualizing their respective outfits, a quick Google search should do the trick! As you may notice, I changed a few things around from the event story because I felt it was lacking-and more importantly unless I somehow misread it, Sinon never gave a very good reason why SHE of all people would want to go around causing chaos. So, I made up a bit of a reason to that end. Maybe it is explained in other character stories? I only managed to get Asuna and Sinon in my pulls.

The dinner where Sinon is influenced by food that Kirito remembers is an event in Hollow Realization where (they go on a date~) Sinon consumes a special soup or something that makes her talk like a pompous queen.

The random Dude line is a reference to the MD "Dude" meme.

The represent words in English if that isn't obvious.

The Alt. Time skip mentioned is a note I made as I was torn between outright writing the lemon or not, but in the end, I decide to go with the more emotional banter above. I will upload that intimate encounter as a separate side path for those intrigued at some point in the future!

Speaking of lemons though, the next SAO story I have planned to do involves a campfire fantasy of Philia some might recall from the game series. So, expect that as well soon!

Until then I appreciate any constructive criticism and reviews if you are so inclined to give them.

Edit: Credit to the new Cover art I commissioned is by my friend Tori, who you can reach on her Tumblr: torichus


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